Monday, November 27, 2006

What's going on with me??

What is going on with me?? Why am i being so mean to everyone? It is like I couldn't control my emotions. I really do feel bad. I keep telling myself this is not right; I shouldnt be general and nice. WHY????

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Don't really know what I should say here now. Feeling guilty about a lot of things that I have done. I have a lot to confess about. Please, please forgive me... I did't tell those lies in purposes... Sorry I couldn't help..
Guess I am not an angle any more. I am turing to the evil side. I am being capricious.I am just doing what I want to do, I don't even think about the consequences.
Derriect is right " welcome to the club". It made me feel so bad, so guilt. Even though I am not regret for what I have done yet, but it reminded me of everything I have done so far. Id? Ego? Superego? where am I more stand at?
I think I think too much. Let it be.
Enjoy the thanksgiving ..
Enjoy the Christmas and New year vacation. ^^

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

sociological feelings


Don't you ever feel lost? yes, of course you do. I believe everyone do. I am feeling the same way all the time. Someone told me things will be clear laterly, I do believe it also, but can you just doing nothing to wait till things being clear? No, absolutely not. We got to do something, to make things straight. Right?
I am lost again, why are there so many kinds of people exist in this world? How come everyone is thinking in different ways? Even though when it comes to one same point, why is it always being so many different thoughts? Why is it always being so difficult to make the point clear? Is it because different people saying different things? Or is it just because of my weird thoughts? Who should I believe in? Should I believe in myself or should I believe in what most of the people say? Id, Ego, Superego. which side am I stand at now?
Being a man, means rational; being a woman, means emotional. Unfortunately, I am a woman, I am emotional, but meanwhile, I do think I am rational when the problem comes to some points, the conflict between rational and emotional is always exist.
I couldn't help but wonder, do people think what i am thinking about? Or is it only me stupid enough and silly enough to think about it?
Should I do what my heart wants me to do? Or should I do what the others want me to do? Do I wanna be the girl that I want myself to be? Or do I wanna be the girl what the others want me to be? Why is there always options? Even when it comes to a "self"?
Couldn't help but wonder... Why am I thinking all this?